Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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