Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
