Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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