I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
