carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
