Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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