Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
