Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
