i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
