If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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