there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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