Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
