Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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