Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
