Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
