the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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