That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
