A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
