You're my little dorito
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Drunk is not a location!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
