obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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