brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
ok first of all what the fuck
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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