Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
