I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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