I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
