Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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