Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
