loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
