i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
