Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
