Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This toilet bowl is my home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
