how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
