I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
