theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he thought i was a dude.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
