I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
