Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
