I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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