Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
