Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
