I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
