jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
