He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
