Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
