ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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