I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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