I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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