weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I want to make a zoo with you.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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