so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
