she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
