i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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