The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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