4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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