i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The adults are the big ones right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
