You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was like eating out sand paper
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
